How to Deal with Kids Who Don’t Follow Instructions

Do you often find yourself repeating the same instructions to your child, only for them to ignore or forget them? It’s frustrating when kids don’t follow directions, but it’s a common issue many parents face. Whether it’s at home, in school, or in social settings, children can struggle with listening or responding to requests. The good news is that there are effective strategies to help your child develop better listening skills, understand the importance of following instructions, and reduce resistance. In this article, we’ll go over five practical tips to help address this issue and encourage your child to follow instructions more consistently.

Watch the full video here for more insights into how to improve your child’s listening skills:

1. Be Clear and Specific with Your Instructions

When you give instructions, it’s crucial they are clear and easy to understand. Children are more likely to follow directions if the task is simple and specific. 

– Use Simple and Direct Language: Keep your instructions brief and to the point. Instead of saying, “Please pick up your toys and make sure everything is neat and tidy so we can have a clean-living room,” say something like, “Pick up your toys and put them in the toy box.”

– Be Specific: Instead of giving a general request like “clean up,” break it down into steps. For example, “First, put your books on the shelf, then pick up the clothes from the floor and put them in the laundry basket.”

– Avoid Overloading with Instructions: Give one instruction at a time. Especially with younger children, too many instructions at once can overwhelm them. Start with one task and give them time to complete it before moving on to the next.

2. Gain Their Full Attention Before Giving Instructions

Children are more likely to follow instructions when they’re paying attention. If they’re distracted or preoccupied, they may not even hear what you’re saying.

– Get on Their Eye Level: Speaking directly to them at their level helps to engage their attention. Crouch down or sit beside them to make them feel more connected to the conversation.

– Make Eye Contact: Ensure your child is looking at you when giving instructions. Eye contact signals that you are about to say something important.

– Remove Distractions: Minimize background distractions like the TV, toys, or other activities. A quieter environment will make it easier for your child to listen.

3. Ensure They Understand What’s Being Asked

Sometimes kids don’t follow instructions because they don’t fully understand them. Checking their comprehension is crucial before expecting them to follow through.

– Ask Them to Repeat the Instruction: After giving an instruction, ask your child to repeat it back to ensure they’ve understood. For example, “Can you tell me what you’re going to do now?”

– Clarify with Examples or Demonstrations: Sometimes showing your child what to do is the best approach. If you ask them to fold clothes, demonstrate how to do it, then guide them as they try it themselves.

– Use Visual Aids: For younger children or visual learners, use pictures or charts to illustrate the task. Visual schedules or step-by-step flashcards can be helpful tools.

4. Provide Positive Reinforcement and Praise

Children are more likely to repeat behaviors that are rewarded. Positive reinforcement helps your child feel motivated to follow instructions by associating compliance with positive outcomes.

– Praise Immediately After Compliance: When your child follows instructions, give immediate praise. For example, “Great job putting your shoes away! I really appreciate that you did it so quickly.”

– Be Specific with Praise: Instead of vague praise like “Good job,” be specific about what they did well. For example, “I love how you listened to me and put your toys away without complaining. That was very helpful.”

– Incorporate Reward Systems: For more challenging tasks, use a reward system such as a sticker chart or a points system. This helps motivate your child and lets them see their progress.

5. Set Clear Expectations and Consequences

Setting clear expectations and following through with consistent consequences is essential for encouraging your child to listen and follow instructions. When children know what is expected of them and understand the consequences of not following through, they are more likely to comply.

– Establish Rules and Expectations: Make sure your child knows the rules before you give instructions. For example, “You need to clean your room before we can watch TV.”

– Use Logical Consequences: If your child doesn’t follow through with instructions, apply a logical consequence. For example, “If you don’t finish your homework now, you won’t be able to play outside later.”

– Stay Consistent: Consistency is key in discipline. If you fail to follow through with consequences or rules, your child may become confused or more likely to disregard instructions. Stick to the agreed-upon expectations and consequences.

Dealing with a child who doesn’t follow instructions can be challenging, but with the right strategies, you can teach your child to become more responsible and responsive. By being clear with your instructions, gaining their full attention, ensuring understanding, using positive reinforcement, and setting consistent expectations, you can help your child improve their listening skills and develop a greater sense of responsibility. Remember, patience and consistency are key, and with time, your child will learn to follow instructions more effectively.

Watch the full video for more helpful tips and strategies: